Featured Artist of
January 1, 2020
with
the song: Wonderful Kind of Day
Mr.
Alex Winfield, a singer from Atlanta, has been at the center of his own
attentions for almost five decades in the Southern music scene. As a
musician, he has been described as deeply eccentric and whimsical, while
also being a passionate follower of the Latin alternative life-style disco
scene. As a human being, he has been described as “dull, unclean and
tedious.”
Former bandmate Dan Fishman, 68, speaks of Alex as a "mercurial and
eccentric figure who ... enjoys flamenco dancing and horseracing, acts on
whims and irritates friends and enemies alike." Mr. Winfield is also said to
fear flying over large bodies of water which is why he is often spotted
wearing floatation devices out in public; just in case he wakes up and finds
himself on a plane, blimp or small glider.
Winfield "avoids making eye contact" with his audiences during shows and
because of his limited musical talents there are often long, uncomfortable
periods of silence during his performances. One fan admitted that, as a
general rule, “nobody puts on a worse show than Alex Winfield.” Christopher
Bennett once attributed his best friend’s excuse for longevity in the music
business as a reason for people to “get together, drink, and not feel so bad
about their own lives.”
But, music is not the sole focus of this mediocre talent from the Peach
State.
Alex Winfield is pursuing studies in Environmental Sciences with a minor in
Dance. He hopes to fuse these disciplines together with his own finite
musical abilities and teach children of the impending dangers of global
warming and to try and imagine how terrible a world without polar ice caps
would be. He is currently working on research funded by Spelman College to
prove that penguins are “not, in fact” dressed in Tuxedos.
So, if you have nothing better to do and have hopes of accidentally getting
impregnated because someone put something in your drink, then show up to an
Alex Winfield show. He will play all the hits you don’t want to hear, ignore
your requests and end up owing you money. If you invite him over to your
house he will draw mustaches on the people in your family photos, even if
they already have one. In short, he is a pretty terrible person that nobody
ends up liking.
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